imej & mitos

Oprah (my saviour) says do a love list, I'll make a love list

1. 6’, mostly because he needs to be taller than I am.
2. Healthy body weight.
3. Healthy body image.
4. Gorgeous, goofy smile.
5. Honest belly laugh. Laughs often yet appropriately depending on situation and company.
6. Sexy voice. Great when he’s reading to me. Able to carry a tune a good bonus.
7. Able to pick me up (literally and physically).
8. Comfortable with appropriate public display of affection. Hugging is mandatory at least once a day.
9. Able to grow a goatee.
10. Able to manscape without me asking.
11. Good head of hair but looks equally good shaved. Not vain about his hair, as I intend to run my hair through them periodically.
12. Beautiful eyes.
13. Back of his head is gorgeous.
14. Back of his neck is sexy.
15. Crook of his elbows are gorgeously detailed.
16. Butt is somewhat big and firm. I like big butts and I cannot lie.
17. Calves are proportionate.
18. Ankles are aesthetically pleasing.
19. Good hygiene.
20. Good teeth, flosses regularly.
21. Intelligent, yet humble about it. Mostly will come in handy in areas of geography, mental arithmetics, politics, economics, names of actors, singers, bands and models (I tend to forget easily). Also in languages, see below.
22. Sense of humour. Able to see humour in most things. Able to appreciate dark and biting humour. Ability to tell jokes a bonus.
23. Loves travelling. We’d share a love of New York, San Francisco, Sao Paulo, Rome, Melbourne, Morocco, Istanbul, Sri Lanka and Siem Reap, among others.
24. Loves animals. Previous ownership of at least 5 pets a must.
25. Green-fingered, or at least willing to help me out in our garden once in a while.
26. Well-read. Favourite books preferably include both children’s literature (not afraid of inner child) and classics.
27. Somewhat well versed in knowledge of pop cultures, and tolerant of mine.
28. Appreciative of various aspects of culture and designs, ranging from kitsch to Kierkegaard.
29. Loves to dress up for me, and at the same time looks good dressed down. Looks good in ties, in a plain t-shirt, and birthday suit.
30. Able to cook, loves to eat. Able to finish everything on his plate and any leftovers on mine.
31. Sweet tooth. Bittersweet dark chocolate a guilty pleasure.
32. Good sense of direction. Have an innate ability to find the best restaurants in any location in the world, also best parks, views, bookshops, clubs etc.
33. Optimistic and positive outlook on life.
34. Decent dancer. Ability to pull a few breakdance moves a bonus.
35. Loves movies, and wouldn’t mind accompanying me to see an obscure subtitled Iranian film in the cinema just because I had a whim to do so.
36. Confident driver.
37. Owns a watch, and knows how to use it. Doesn’t begrudge my inability to be on time.
38. Swears dirtily and lustily when the situation warrants it. Can be quite a turn on.
39. Have a few tell-tale scars from a happy childhood. One of them could be on his face, that’s okay.
40. Gets along well with my side of the family.
41. Not afraid to tell me what he feels, and able to calmly and rationally talk things over if it gets dicey.
42. Autodidact. Knitting to canoeing.
43. Likes his work. Always willing to improve himself to better carry out his duties.
44. Passionate about things he cares about.
45. Loyal to family, friends and me.
46. Must not be afraid of worms and other slimy things. He could be afraid of spiders, it’s okay because I’m not.

I've never had chard, but this looks amazing

Swiss Chard Stuffed Flank Steak

serves 6

Steak

1 1/2 pounds flank steak, ask butcher to butterfly
Salt and pepper, to taste

Swiss Chard

1/4 cup olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 bunch Swiss chard (broccoli rabe may substitute), stemmed and chopped into medium-size pieces
sea salt, to taste
ground pepper, to taste

Dijon Vinaigrette

1 heaping TB Dijon mustard
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 cup canola oil
3 ounces asiago fresca cheese, thinly sliced
butcher twine
canola oil spray

Season the inside of the flank steak with salt and pepper and set aside.

In a sauté pan, add 1/4 cup olive oil and sauté the garlic until it starts to turn golden brown. Add the Swiss chard and season with salt and pepper. Sauté the chard until just wilted, then remove to a colander to allow the juice to drain. Set aside to cool.

Place the mustard, apple cider vinegar and red wine vinegar in a bowl and whisk together. Slowly add 1/2 cup olive oil and 1/2 cup canola oil to the mixture in a slow and steady stream. It is important to continuously whisk as the oil is added to make sure the vinaigrette is emulsified. After vinaigrette is done, set to the side.

Take the Swiss chard and squeeze all the excess water from the greens. Add approximately 1/4 cup of the vinaigrette to the Swiss chard and mix together. Place the marinated chard on the inside of the flank steak and layer the cheese over the chard. Slowly roll up the flank streak and tie together with butcher twine.

Preheat the oven to 375°F.

Season the outside of the flank steak with salt and pepper and spray with canola oil. Place the flank in a hot sauté pan and sear on all sides, allowing to stay in one place for a few minutes to ensure it browns well.

Remove the meat from the pan and place in a casserole dish. Cook in the oven for approximately 15 to 20 minutes, until the meat reaches an internal temperature of 130°F. Allow the meat to sit for 5 to 10 minutes before slicing.

Serve the flank pinwheels with the remaining vinaigrette on the side.

When fasting, do not look at recipes

Velvety Broccoli and Feta Pasta

serves 2-4

1 pound broccoli
2 tablespoons water
Salt and pepper
Olive oil
1/2 small onion or two shallots, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/3 cup chopped flat parsley
1 lemon, juiced
1/2 cup feta cheese (low-fat if you want to be good) - divided
1/4 cup water

Cut the broccoli into small florets and steam on the stove or in the microwave with the 2 tablespoons of water. Season lightly with salt and pepper.

Heat a drizzle of olive oil in a large sauté pan. Cook the onion and garlic until it just begins to soften then add the broccoli. Cook for several minutes or until the onion turns translucent. Add the parsley and cook until it’s well wilted. Pour in the lemon juice and simmer for about two minutes.

Transfer to a blender and add 1/4 cup of the feta cheese and the 1/4 cup water. Puree until smooth, adding a drizzle of olive oil and a little more water if it sticks and turns to a lump. Puree until as smooth or chunky as you prefer.

Taste and add any necessary additional salt and pepper. Serve with a good ridged pasta like the rotini above.

Bahagian 1: Lelaki Melayu dulu dan sekarang

Personaliti maskulin tradisional

PERNAHKAH anda terfikir perbezaan lelaki Malaysia sekarang dengan jejaka yang hidup lebih 50 tahun lalu? Secara kasar, kelainan itu mungkin tidak ketara kerana dikaburi peranan lelaki yang dikatakan terus dominan berbanding wanita. Namun, jika diamati, cetusan evolusi berlaku dalam kehidupan lelaki dari zaman ke zaman hingga membentuk ciri-ciri lelaki yang dilihat pada hari ini.

Sebelum ini, tidak ramai berminat menyingkap fasa perubahan atau perkembangan lelaki baik dari aspek apa sekalipun. Ini kerana fokus selalu diberi kepada wanita di mana perubahan dan perkembangan mereka mungkin lebih menarik untuk diambil peduli.

Namun, sejak ‘kuasa’ lelaki makin melebar - tidak lagi terbatas dalam kelompok keluarga dan kerjaya sebaliknya dalam pelbagai aspek gaya hidup dan sosial, agensi pengiklanan terkemuka, McCann Erickson Malaysia ‘terpanggil’ untuk menyelidik evolusi lelaki Malaysia.

Agensi itu berkongsi hasil kajian menariknya bersama XY - Ikon Lelaki dengan memberi fokus kepada evolusi lelaki Melayu di Malaysia, sejak era sebelum merdeka, pasca merdeka hingga hari ini.

Bermula dengan cerita lelaki sebelum merdeka yang digelar ‘Lelaki Tradisional’ dalam penyelidikan ini, Pengarah Perancangan Strategik McCann Erickson, Abhinav Sharma menamakan bekas Perdana Menteri, Allahyarham Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra Al-Haj; Allahyarham Tun Abdul Razak Hussein; Allahyarham Tun Hussein Onn hingga Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad sebagai individu yang melambangkan ciri lelaki Melayu tradisional.

Antara ciri lelaki tradisional yang dilihat pada barisan tokoh ini adalah kuasa dimiliki mereka, tanggungjawab selaku pemimpin serta semangat melindungi negara.

Kata Abhinav, keluarga generasi pertama dan kedua di Malaysia yang menempuh kepayahan hidup pada zaman peperangan, lazimnya memiliki anggota keluarga atau anak yang ramai.

Setiap anak lelaki yang lahir dalam keluarga besar pada tempoh sukar seperti ini biasanya sukar menerima perhatian saksama daripada ibu bapa mereka, terutama dari bapa.

“Anak lelaki ini akan membesar secara berdikari dan belajar mengenai sesuatu menerusi pemerhatian dan contoh yang diperoleh dari orang tua.

“Anak lelaki sulung akan mengikut jejak langkah bapa dan kedudukan lelaki sebagai jantina yang hebat dan pendukung kehormatan keluarga terus menjadi tradisi.

“Definisi kelelakian yang dipelajari mereka adalah seseorang yang tanggungjawab memelihara kehormatan keluarga dan tradisi ini perlu terus diperturunkan; mempunyai tekad dan keazaman tinggi; boleh membuatkan orang lain takut; akan dihormati; mampu menyara keluarga; sentiasa setia dan hormat kepada yang lebih tua; jujur dan bertanggungjawab serta mampu memiliki lebih daripada seorang isteri,” terang Abhinav.

Abhinav menambah, selain ciri maskulin pada lelaki tradisional yang dijelaskannya, ada juga lelaki tradisional berjiwa lebih lembut. Contoh terbaik, aktor lagenda Melayu, Allahyarham Tan Sri P Ramlee. Seniman Negara ini dilihat memiliki ciri serupa seperti keazaman yang kuat untuk berjaya dalam industri hiburan; dihormati dan dikenali serta pernah berkahwin dan bercerai lebih daripada sekali.

Generasi kedua iaitu lelaki yang membesar dalam acuan tradisional akan meneruskan tradisi bapa tradisional pada keluarganya pula. Mereka adalah individu yang setia; tindakan mereka tidak boleh dipersoalkan; patuh kepada peraturan; tahu apa yang terbaik; pelindung; chauvinistik; tegas dalam soal disiplin serta dihormati.

Kata Abhinav, masyarakat Asia ketika itu bersifat patriachal (kebapaan). Tiada siapa boleh mempertikai atau membantah sebarang arahan dan keputusan yang sudah diputuskan bapa.

“Namun, selepas taraf hidup menjadi semakin baik, nilai tradisi yang diwarisi dari generasi sebelumnya sedikit terkikis oleh kemodenan.

“Anak lelaki generasi kedua ini menghadapi dilema sama ada hendak mengikut tradisi bapanya atau meneruskan perjalanan kehidupan dengan identiti dan caranya sendiri,” katanya.

Pada masa yang sama, golongan anak ini harus melakukan sesuatu yang dapat membanggakan bapa mereka. Mengikut persepsi masyarakat ketika itu, apa yang dapat membuatkan seseorang bapa berbangga dengan anaknya adalah keputusan cemerlang dalam peperiksaan (pangkat A dalam semua subjek) serta menduduki jawatan profesional seperti doktor, peguam dan jurutera.

Anak kepada lelaki tradisional biasanya akan berjaya dalam akademik dan memilih laluan karier konvensional kerana takut serta menghormati bapa mereka.

“Kehidupan anak lelaki yang dibesarkan dalam lingkungan tradisional ini dilihat menghadapi bermacam ‘tekanan’ dalam hidup mereka. Menurut ‘parameter tradisional’, mereka perlu menunjukkan prestasi terbaik di sekolah; menuntut di universiti ternama; tamat pengajian dan memperoleh kerjaya berpendapatan stabil; memiliki kereta dan rumah sendiri; harus mampu dari segi kewangan untuk berkahwin dan membina sebuah keluarga.

“Satu-satunya contoh atau role model yang dilihat golongan lelaki generasi kedua ini adalah bapa mereka. Justeru, tidak hairanlah jika ramai di antara mereka yang tetap mengikut jejak langkah bapa mereka biarpun minat dan kecenderungan sebenar mereka adalah berbeza,” katanya.

Menyentuh mengenai kajian agensi itu, Abhinav berkata, pihaknya sentiasa membuat penyelidikan seumpama itu bagi mengenalpasti corak dan kehendak pasaran.

“Ini menjadi maklumat berguna kepada pelanggan kami untuk memasarkan produk mereka.

“Seiring dengan kuasa beli golongan lelaki yang dilihat kian menyamai kuasa beli yang sebelum ini didominasi wanita, kami mengambil langkah strategik untuk membuat kajian mengenai lelaki tempatan,” katanya.

Kata Abhinav, tinjauan dan kajian ini dilakukan dalam tempoh lima hingga enam bulan berdasarkan soal selidik terhadap 300 responden lelaki pelbagai etnik dan sumber kajian sekunder.

Minggu depan : Transisi lelaki… Dari tradisional ke era moden.

Ng: Welfare aid for gays, too

From the Star Online recently:

All Malaysians, including homosexuals, can apply and receive welfare aid if they meet the necessary welfare requirements, said Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Dr Ng Yen Yen.

“We do not discriminate based on sexual inclination. As long as you are a Malaysian and are entitled to receive welfare aid, we will give it to you, especially the poor.

“We should not judge them as they too are entitled to get help,” she said yesterday when asked to comment on a Parliament debate over the presence of homosexuals in the Klang Valley.

Dr Ng said her ministry had submitted a research paper to the Cabinet a month ago on problems faced by homosexuals, including no legal entity.

“According to our research, these non-heterosexuals are often shunned by society, ashamed, laughed at and bullied.

“Most of them are not keen to come forward because of the treatment they had received,” she told a press conference yesterday.

On whether the ministry was working on legalising the status of homosexuals, Dr Ng said it was a very complex issue which had to be looked at thoroughly including the religious and cultural aspect.

That’s … new. I’ve never been called non-heterosexual before, at least not to my face. I wonder how the religious fundamentalists would react to this?

It's either depressing or titillating

When the really hot computer guy “servicing” my notebook keeps calling me “abang”.

Guess what I found in the drawer inside the temporary office they gave me?

A rainbow flag. Macam tau-tau je….